My Winter Shield

Most Texans I know dismiss the idea of a "rite of passage" or any other ritual as some hippie shit.  And yet we've still managed to create our own... How do we celebrate being alive for 18 years? Porn and cigarettes. What did you do on your 21st birthday?  The point is, these are markers of a place and time where we are about to change.  They give us a sense of significance.

While I was working at Pacific Quest, we facilitated rites of passage for troubled teens using the School of Lost Borders curriculum.  The idea is that our mind/bodies/emotions go through a similar cycle as the seasons.  Being sensitive to nature helps us understand this. Each season sends us through an "initiation" that prepares and develops us for the next. This curriculum is great for teens, because they change so much and so rapidly!  But this curriculum can be applied to anyone... we all go through these cycles, and at different rates.  This allows us to forget about where we think we "should" be, and acknowledge where we are, with understanding that the only constant in life is change.

A doodle of my "Four Shields"
North Shield- Winter

East-Spring

South-Summer

West-Fall

I've been back in Austin for almost a year.  I haven't had a real winter in almost 3 years... and as mild as it's been, I remember a time in Hawaii when I realized I needed to feel that change in seasons.  Living there, everything felt so abundant in so many ways.  But I almost felt overwhelmed at times with so little direction. 

For me, winter has been a time when I conserve my resources.  I don't take as many risks, I don't connect with as many people, and I go into something of an introspective hibernation. Some people might call it a gumption trap. 

"Stuckness shouldn't be avoided. It's the psychic predecessor of all real understanding."
-Pirsig, ZATAOMM

Literally and figuratively, winter is a time of barrenness. So now, I'm developing my Winter Shield.  It's a time when I'm accepting the fruitlessness of some elements in my life, but learning how to nourish them for the next seasonal cycle.

Okay, so real talk... an example of this "barrenness" is how my creativity suddenly dried up.  In the spring and summer, I cannot write enough.  I cannot make enough music.   I want to push the envelope and create new styles.

Now that it's winter, I am less inspired.  My creative buds aren't blooming... but I do feel that this is a time for me to be obedient to something.  To observe where my energy does go when I feel like I have less of it... to learn what it feels like to be devoted to something.  Now is the time to work, to be dependable, to observe, apprentice, and learn. 

... TBC