I'm preparing myself for another move. I'm beginning to notice a trend in my pre-move rituals. There's always a lot of baking involved. And cleaning. And making things. I still can't put my finger on how that works out... it's like I'm resisting the move externally by "nesting" to the extreme. Before going to Samoa, I had a batch of muffins/cakes/cookies every night. Before North Carolina I cranked out an entire quilt. And lately I've just been drawing, baking, sewing, and all things DIY. Analyze that.
I also have the obligatory family check-in. William, my oldest brother, has helped me transition into and out of my camp in North Carolina/into camp in Georgia, and now is helping me transition out of EYA for good. I like to toss out ideas of where I'm going/what I'm doing with him, because I know he'll be the first person to set me straight if he thinks my route is all cattywompus. This weekend, his underwater hockey team put together a glove-making party to coat basic gloves with caulk so their hands/knuckles won't scrape on the pool floor at their tournament next week. His childhood best friend and wife came to visit, and this is the conversation that ensued:
After the party, I split to go see Mason Jennings play at the Variety Playhouse in Atlanta. When I was living in California and feeling unsettled/ungrounded, I would walk to a nearby park, listen to Mason Jennings, lay in the grass and let bugs crawl on me. And somehow I felt so centered. Often, his songs depict others' lives and experiences in a mundane way, but the attention he pays to their work has so much care and interest. The songs seem to create a curiosity and love for all experiences. I'd felt disoriented as a result of preparing for this move, and I just had a feeling that I'd leave the concert tonight with a new sense of purpose.
Anyway, tonight Mason talked about a lost and forgotten old song he'd written called "The Field" and the irony in the fact that he'd recently written another song called "The Field" and that to him, the two had nothing to do with each other. But the funny thing to me is that they're both talking about a home or a haven. It's getting late and I don't think I could do justice to the songs or my feelings if I tried to further explain, but I can say that they've inspired me to a sense of peace and purpose during these frantic rituals of re-orienting myself towards "home".
This is the newer "The Field"... gets me all emotional.
