toenails

Today, I am sulking around my bedroom in the house where I grew up.  Yesterday, I was collecting flight information so I could get away, but then I went to a holiday party and then took a nap and well, you can imagine how the story goes from there.  This year especially, I've been trying really hard to "be here now".  When I'm traveling, it's never hard for me to be present.  Everything is new, and my entire body senses that.  Conversely, it feels like an infinite challenge to stay present when living in my hometown.

I've been really fortunate to travel a lot this year

Big Bend/Marfa/Terlingua

Playa del Carmen/Cozumel Mexico

Easter in San Diego

Mothers Day in Houston with my Grandma 

Independence Day in Maui

New Years Day in Austin, TX

Asheville, NC to see Diana/Ra/Zeus

Great Smokey Mtns, TN 

Atlanta, GA to see my brother get hitched

Omaha, NE because why not?

Ozarks for the Yonder Mountain String Fest

O'ahu to visit old friends

Sayulita/ San Pancho, Mexico

And most recently, Santiago, Chile

I started writing this post to make myself feel better about staying at home this weekend, but instead, after enumerating the places I've been, it kind of feels like I've just clipped my toenails and now I'm holding on to them to show everyone else just what I've done.  Yes, this is part of me, but they're in the past now and something feels kind of gross (yet gratifying) about putting it on display (for the record, I always throw away my toenails, but we all know THERE ARE PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD who clip their toenails intentionally in a place that is not the trashcan in order to look at their pile of glory afterwards).

I'm going to go for a walk, and when I get back I hope to finish this thought...