Deliverance

Right now I've got about 10 minutes to post before I make myself go to bed. I kinda feel as I did in Samoa-- overwhelmed by living out of my "comfort zone"... always feeling like there's never enough time to make the most of these unique experiences...

This will probably be my last night at my time off house in the next month. Right now I'm packing for a river trip I'm taking with my group on the Lumber River. For 14 days, we'll wake up each morning around 5, pack up our stuff, gather wood/cook our food... then paddle a few miles to our next spot to set up camp/gather wood/cook food. And if we have enough time, we'll fish and swim and play! I'm so stinkin' excited.

A good portion of my kids didn't know how to swim before they came to camp... and were afraid to even go near water. That's been a funny concept for me to wrap my mind around... because I just assumed that maybe 2% of the world population didn't know how to swim. And yet at camp, it feels like 2% of the population did know how to swim before coming to camp. Being one of 3 lifeguards at our camp, I feel a little pressure when it comes to water safety.

This afternoon as I was working with them and teaching them how to paddle a canoe, I had one kid scared out of his pants. He was acting really squirrely and trying not to show it, but when we got to the part where he had to tip the canoe, he started freaking out. I waited in the water for him, and after he tipped and then realized that he wasn't drowning and that I wouldn't let him drown... he eased up, pulled himself back into the canoe, and the rest of the afternoon he was a paddling machine. That was a rewarding moment. I love this kid.





Random tangent: I just watched Deliverance for the first time last week. I absolutely loved it-- it resonated through the core of my being. I love the scene where they're trying to decide whether to be honest "law-abiding" citizens who would confess to the county for murdering somebody... and then Burt Reynolds steps in and goes "What LAW!? Where's the LAW out here?" I swear I've thought that before. In the "wilderness", there's so many variables that it seems laughable that a written law would suffice to bring justice into a community. It seems that laws can only work when there's a solid community of people who believe in outcomes for certain behaviors. Laws make us think that the world works in a predictable way... when it's anything but that...

Love doesn't happen haphazardly. It is a conscious decision.

Be patient with teenagers.

A hand on someones shoulder can calm someone down faster than a thousand comforting words.

If you wake up with gnats all over you... You better bring a rain jacket.

Don't snap at children when they make racist/ sexist/ other discriminatory comments... But do ask a million questions to help them understand what they are saying.

Shower. Read. Write. Sleep.

Tonight I told my boys I'd be peeing in a bucket and that it would go in my tent with me while I slept... (just as i did when i was in a girls group) And after a moment of awkward silence where everyone was busy mentally dissecting the fact that my pissing ritual is different from theirs, my quietest most supportive camper said " uh uh chief it ain't gonna go down like that".

I'm still in my tent laughing. I dunno... Guess you had to be there? But gah I love my little chivalrous juvies!!!

Life at camp

Cleaning out my car was like cleaning out my brain. So therapeutic!

So here's an update on the goings-on in my life.

There are only 4 out of 12 girls left in my original group. Some graduated successfully, and others were exited (meaning they left the program "unsuccessfully"). The hardest thing about this job has been letting go of these kids, and knowing that there are some I can only help so much.

I'm going to a boys group permanently starting tomorrow. I'm definitely gonna miss working with my girls, but this will be a nice change. So far every time I've been in a boys group, I've had an awesome time. They've been very physically active, whereas my girls seemed to loathe hiking anywhere or partaking in group games. I could go on about this, but if pictures/videos are worth a thousand words then I'll spare myself some typing:

Motel 6 writers block

I checked into a Motel 6 so that I could have some time alone and that I could just sit and write. I feel I've got a lot of important things I need to get out, but at the same time I don't really have anything of importance to say at all.

I really just wanna go clean out my car. I bet if I had a clean car I wouldn't have had to pull into a Motel 6 to think... Yes... I'll go clean out my car...