Some pro's and con's that I see with this job... (most of these are copied and pasted from my initial application)
PROS:
1. Free room and board. Cause... hey! I'm sleeping outside in a tent. Initially, I wanted to stay at home and work in Dallas to save money, but I learned quickly that Dallas just isn't my kinda city. But this will be an excellent way to save money.
2. This job would allow my actions to fall in line with my beliefs, and to help me make a difference. I am passionate about reforming America's criminal justice system, and finding ways to transform rather than punish criminals. I certainly feel that one of the best ways to create change is to start with the transformation (not punishment) of at-risk youth.
3. It's perfect for my skill set/personality. I'm outdoorsy. I'm optimistic. I like dealing with mouthy kids.
4. It's outdoors! I think the best atmosphere for my own personal growth is in nature. It's hard to know what I'm capable of while dependent on superficial things (internet, air conditioning, etc).
5. The staff is really cool. You've gotta be cool to take on a job like this, right?
CONS:
1. Lack of personal space/time. I use "alone time" to re-charge my energy, and this is probably my biggest concern. As a former Head RA, I know what it's like to have a 24 hour job where emergencies can happen at any time. And I know what it's like to have what we call "clingers" (kids that don't ever want to leave your side). Especially having lived in Samoa, I know the feeling of having little-to-no privacy. It's because of these experiences that I know this will be my biggest challenge, but it is also because of these experiences that I know how to deal with this challenge.
Coping Strategy: Meditation, meditation, meditation. Each night I'll reflect on the day and the things I am grateful for (hoping that I'll have at least 15 minutes to myself before I fall asleep). This is really my coping strategy for almost any source of stress that comes my way. Also, asking for help from co-workers and being available for help is another big overarching stress-reliever.2. I lived out of my comfort zone this last semester while in Samoa-- without electricity, television, telephone, flush-able toilets, or hot showers. But the hardest thing for me was being away from my friends and family.
Coping strategy: I think being able to contact them during my time off once a week will be more than enough. Also, I hope to make friends with the other staff members and use them for support. I imagine that anybody who would choose to take on a job of this nature would be somebody I'd get along with.
3. I worry that there may actually be kids that don't want to be there, or kids that just have negative attitudes altogether.
Coping strategy: I will do my best to stay positive with them and to try to highlight some of their best attributes (complimenting when they do things well). I also think my sense of humor is one of my best attributes when it comes to dealing with youth.
4. Cold weather. I've never lived that far north before (even though it's not that far).
Coping strategy: pack warm?
5. Huddle Ups. These are group discussions that are used to confront all sorts of problems and can be called by anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for personal reflections, group conversations, and all those things... but I'm also a "less talk, more do" kind of person. I imagine that frequent "huddle-ups" would probably annoy me.
Coping strategy: I will be patient, but make sure that each huddle-up stays focused and on-task. I will also remind everybody of our options (we can stay out and talk until it gets dark and we don't have camp set up, or we can go set up camp now and talk later)
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Most of these are things I had written before I visited. Here's an email I wrote to my brother after visiting :
"Before I left I told myself that no matter how bad it was, I'd take the job anyway if they offered it to me. But then there were a couple times while I was there that I just thought "there is no way I could handle doing this for a year". I came home thursday night and just broke down (no, really. I got locked out of the house and sat outside bawling for an hour before I could gather my thoughts enough to break in) As a whole the camp definitely had a very gloomy and negative energy to it-- like a vacuum. It pulled a lot of deep philosophical questions-- what is the purpose of putting "hazards to society" in institutions? What happens when several people with negative energy are concentrated in one place? Can any good ever come out of this kind of setting?
I could tell all the other counselors were really drained-- almost (if not all of them) had some sort of illness/injury related to the job. That's a fear of mine, in that it's not a very forgiving job if I were to get sick (there's so few counselors that I won't be able to just call in sick, and once you're sick you still have to sleep outside every night). But the camp itself is in a transitional period and they're trying to hire more people so I think things will get better.
As drained as I felt, there were several redeeming moments. There was one girl that just found out she hadn't passed the 8th grade, and she was in hysterics all day. I tried to help her find some source of optimism, but after talking to her (/her screaming at me and the other "chief") for a while, I learned that she really doesn't have a whole lot to work towards while she's at camp-- she's got a really shitty family and the only person who cares about her is her "grandmother"(her mom's boyfriend's step-mom), so even though she hates camp, she's not in any hurry to get home. Anyway, she had been screaming at me all day saying "you don't know me! how can you tell me my life isn't going to shit" etc... and just as we put a halt to the matter I began to believe her. But then as we were tucking them in at night, in between broken sobs she says "chief mandy... can you come here? i'm really sorry for being so mean to you today". Right up until that point, I was so looking for excuses to never come back. But something as small as that made all the difference for me.
To me, taking on this job can be likened to joining the army. Most people don't do it because that's what they like doing ... but because they see a job that needs to be done and are tired of waiting around for somebody else to take care of it. As much bitching as I do about the country... it's about time I start taking action into my own hands. Okay... and I don't know where this soap box came from or how I got on it... but I'm stepping down now....
Sorry this email turned into a novel. I get it from Dad."
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That was written immediately after I got home and was truly drained, but in all fairness I was probably sleep deprived and just cranky. Anyway, right now I am very excited to start, and I will be driving out there towards the end of this month to start the next chapter !
